Mediocrity, the one word that describes me

I’m Ms. A Little Bit of Everything.

I can write a little. Speak a little. Sing a little. Draw a little. Even joke a little.

With my little amount of everything, I’m facing difficulty in doing a particular something where I will not just do good, but best.

It sucks being a mediocre. It really does.

Kill me now and no one will remember what I do because I simply do nothing.

Not that I don’t want to do anything but, there’s just nothing that I can do best.

I’m not rich but I’m not poor.

I don’t have everything but I still have something.

I want to be someone else just as much as I’m pretty sure there’s someone else out there who wants to be me.

I’m little Ms. Insecurity.

I see not much good in me unless other people tell it to me.

They say the jack of all trades is the master of none. I definitely, is a master of none, yet I don’t have all trades.

I’m a little bit pretty and a little bit nice.

I can easily get ugly, I easily get mad.

I base my self-conception on other’s opinion or worse, in comparison with other people.

My standard is classified around words: more or less. I’m more of these and less like that and all sorts that go near that.

These classifications put me to thinking: am I really me or just somebody I believe to be me based on what others think of me?

These crises I’d been suffering from since I realized that I’m nothing.

My nothingness pains me. I cannot define myself on my own opinion. 

I cannot even tell what I do. I easily get influenced.

I’m a glass of water three fourths empty. Pour something into me and I’ll be filled. Turn me downward, I get even emptier.Bash me up and I break into pieces, go back to my nothingness and be in my most empty state.  

This is me. Three fourths empty. No self-identity. The epitome of the word mediocrity.

Five minute rant out.

8.37 PM At the doorsteps right next to laundry.

Feb 19, 2012