My man just told me he’s to watch
a movie after his work tonight.
He’s watching a movie when he
don’t usually have enough energy to talk to me over the phone.
He’s watching a movie when he has
been complaining how exhausted he is after work.
He’s watching a movie when he had
started our day (still) complaining
how busy he is.
He’s watching a movie when it has
been a year when he had asked me to watch one.
He’s watching a movie when the
last time he asked me to it, he was not actually able to made it.
Worse, he’s watching a movie ALONE without even asking if I want to
come along.
Even worst, he’s watching a movie, given all the instances I have just mentioned and he had the darn guts to tell me so!
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Let my rage be not mistaken that
it’s because of him not taking me out to movie. It’s not as petty as it seems
(at least on my part). It’s the thought of him telling me about it when he
should rather have not if he’s considerate enough.
I made him know I’m pissed, he
laughed it off. He deterred by asking me out ---- and hey, the good news is, for
a movie date!
Just so he thought it’s the best
escape route. Just so he thought this obliged, forced and attempt-to-bribe you
invitation would console me. Hell No! It just infused my rage even more.
So he thinks that’s all? That,
that’s what pissed me off? That, that’s what made me feel he’s really
inconsiderate? It’s far more than that. It has
rooted from this year long attempt at a not-in-a-relationship but
romantically-affiliated status that we have.
It’s not about the movie. It’s
not about me.
It’s about
him not even considering to find and spend quality time with me, but only for
himself alone. And it’s about the series of these instances that came in irony
with this movie thing he brought up that really freaks the hell out of me.
* As I
finished this entry, he was calling (to apologize perhaps? Or maybe to just ask
what am I pissed about).
February 23,
2012, 07:26 PM
A Five-minute
infuse
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