I was weeping half way through my train
ride this afternoon at the sight of a couple probably on their late seventies.
The old man was all along cordially assisting his old woman on their way to the
train. The train, as it is during this time, is crowded like hell. Body to
body, elbow to elbow, wrist to wrist ---- that’s how we literally were. But them,
they were holding hands, touching each other’s arms, neglecting the fact that
they were extremely squeezed in a moving box-like train cartridge.
Afraid that the train’s light tremor would
push them down, the grand old man reached to the hand rail above him and to the
back of his partner. He pulled her close, closer to his breath. His right hand
caressing her back, hers wrapped around his waist. Her head leaning forward his
willowing shoulder. Every light move the train makes sways them dancing in the
pool of varied folks: those who were busy talking or those who were merely
thinking.
The next station parted them. A place was
left open for the old lady but she hesitated. She offered this rather to her
beau. He refused and insisted for his woman to take the seat which she humbly accepted.
Smiling, she kept a stare at him. Stoic as his face maybe, he kept staring back
to her. At this point, I felt my tears
shed. I remembered my mama. I thought of my Papa. I imagined them together too
--- looking at each other’s eyes, holding each other’s arms.
I imagined if mama hadn't left yet. If
she’s still here and got to live several years more until she had reached the
age of the old woman in the train. She could be travelling with Papa too. She
could have had the pleasure of being held closer too. She could have been caressed
longer. She could have lived a life more loved and cared for by the man God has
destined for her. She could have felt the warmth the old lady in the train felt.
Papa could have had his better chance at making her felt these too. I dread that
these had not and will never happen.
For mama, I pose a lifelong devotion ---
to wait for the man that God has destined to ride the train with me and forever
keep me company. Be him the man I am with at this point in my life, or some
random one I would come across in future time --- I will wait for him with all
my heart and faith. This I would do to live for mama, the life she had not had
enough chance to live.
When finally my man gets to where I am, I would
ask him to always hold me close as we would never know where our last train
station would be, where any of us would have to be left traveling alone inside
the moving box-like train cartridge we call life.
Lord,
remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me to never fail to care
and love and that my days are numbered, and that my life is a train, fleeing
away.
Wind
03.13.12
