One Train Ride to Remember

I was weeping half way through my train ride this afternoon at the sight of a couple probably on their late seventies. The old man was all along cordially assisting his old woman on their way to the train. The train, as it is during this time, is crowded like hell. Body to body, elbow to elbow, wrist to wrist ---- that’s how we literally were. But them, they were holding hands, touching each other’s arms, neglecting the fact that they were extremely squeezed in a moving box-like train cartridge.

Afraid that the train’s light tremor would push them down, the grand old man reached to the hand rail above him and to the back of his partner. He pulled her close, closer to his breath. His right hand caressing her back, hers wrapped around his waist. Her head leaning forward his willowing shoulder. Every light move the train makes sways them dancing in the pool of varied folks: those who were busy talking or those who were merely thinking.

The next station parted them. A place was left open for the old lady but she hesitated. She offered this rather to her beau. He refused and insisted for his woman to take the seat which she humbly accepted. Smiling, she kept a stare at him. Stoic as his face maybe, he kept staring back to her.  At this point, I felt my tears shed. I remembered my mama. I thought of my Papa. I imagined them together too --- looking at each other’s eyes, holding each other’s arms.

I imagined if mama hadn't left yet. If she’s still here and got to live several years more until she had reached the age of the old woman in the train. She could be travelling with Papa too. She could have had the pleasure of being held closer too. She could have been caressed longer. She could have lived a life more loved and cared for by the man God has destined for her. She could have felt the warmth the old lady in the train felt. Papa could have had his better chance at making her felt these too. I dread that these had not and will never happen.

For mama, I pose a lifelong devotion --- to wait for the man that God has destined to ride the train with me and forever keep me company. Be him the man I am with at this point in my life, or some random one I would come across in future time --- I will wait for him with all my heart and faith. This I would do to live for mama, the life she had not had enough chance to live.

When finally my man gets to where I am, I would ask him to always hold me close as we would never know where our last train station would be, where any of us would have to be left traveling alone inside the moving box-like train cartridge we call life. 

Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me to never fail to care and love and that my days are numbered, and that my life is a train, fleeing away.

Wind

03.13.12